To Live

How do I tell them
That after all this
Please
Let me please you
Please
I am tired
Of never being good enough
I am tired of
Playing their game
I am so tired of
Planning
Everything
So tired
Of never having time
To live
Not live like
“let’s go out and kick it”
But live like everything
Is happening around me
History is happening around me
And I’m watching it on tv
And I just want to work
Really work
Do something everyday
Make a difference
And I
I am tired of hearing
Later later LATER
You’ll be better
Later
Go and help
But wait
Until later
Until you get the
Proper education
That
They/you know them
They will respect
A yale
Columbia
Gerogetown
Because they will know
You have been properly
Trained
Fuck properly trained
So what will they tell me
When I say
No
Sorry
Please
Don’t make me please
You anymore
Please don’t
Guilt me anymore
Pleae don’t use my
Brothers and sisters
And people
To dilute me
And remove me
Please
Why can’t you see
I don’t care
What THEY think of me
It’s like saying communism failed
By capitalist standards
Because if it meant to be
And I am meant to be
A defender of the people
Of the pople
For the people
Of the people
They will not care
About yale
Or where I clerked
They want to know I am honest
And good
And I am of them
And I could represent them well
Knowing their histories
And mine
Bled together somewhere
On the banks of the rio grande
Our euphraytes
Where life is
Beacuase I am
Good people
The will choose me
Not because I am
Pleasing them
But because
I believe
In them
And they will
Beilieve in me
They will only
Hold me
To the standards I set
For myself
Not to something
Unattainable
They will not
Wait for me to fail
They will pray for me to succeed
If it is supposed to be
Please
Please
Let it be like that

Liberation

My liberation
Was supposed
To be about
Being
Being
And fuck everything else
It was supposed
To be about
Being
Me
Being my
Malcom x loving
Alan Jackson listening
Poor people loving
Self
It was supposed
To be about being
That angry
Hurt girl inside
Who wanted to fight back
Andyou
Somewhere
Somehow
Along the way
Convinced me
That
Wait
Hold up
I should want
To be a part
Of you
Wait
Wait
You little
Beige girl
You can join
The club
You have overachieved
And over accomplished
And over read
Most people your
Age
Skin color
Gender
And class
Damn you worked har
So we will
Let you in
1st teir
Top 10
You never thought
You could dream
This big
Did you little beige girl
Fuck you
i never wanted yoru
arsnic dipped
Refined sugar coated
Colonized dream
I am the same woman
Who will write
Liberation psychology
How we liberate OURSELVES
Through our minds
Because the people must
Liberate themselves
I wear my liberation
On my back
Everyday
But I am not
Perfect
I stumble
And fall
And pick up the pieces
And I remember
What this
Liberation
Ws for
And what it was
Supposed to be
And if I go
If I go
Then it all meant
Nothing
Hypocrite
All the bullshit
You shoved back in their faces
If I go they’ll say
You really were
Just a dreamer
Fuck that
I do dream
Of a better reality
And I create my own reality
Just like I created my own liberatin
I wear on my back everyday
Under sweatshop clothes
Bought from corporate America
But underneath
All the lies
And bullshit
Is my liberation
And
You are wondering
Hypocrite
Why it has nothing
To with
Rejecting the white man
Or his bourgeoisie education
It has to do with my utter distatste
For bull shit
And I’ve said it before
And I’ll say it again
And again
I owe those people nothing
I got this education
To give it back
To people who need it
Not those people
Fuck them
If I did this out of hate for them
I’d love to go their schools and prove them wrong
But I do this
Out of love
And that love
Compels me
To be real
Don’t play bougie games
You don’t need their
Respect
You need the respect of the people
Be real and you will earn
The respect
Of the people this isn’t about hate
This is about love
And I will never
Hate the oppressor
More hen
I love the oppressed