Borderlands/La Fronter page 68

She has this fear that she has no names that she
has many names that she doesn't know her names She has
this fear that she's an image that comes and goes
clearing and darkening the fear that she's the dreamwork
inside someone else's skull She has this fear that if
she takes off her clothes shoves her brain aside
peels off her skin that if she drains the blood
vessels strips the flesh from the bone flushes out
the marrow She has this fear that when she does
reach herself turns around to embrace herself a
lion's or witch's or serpent's head will turn around
swallow her and grin She has this fear that if she digs
into herself she won't find anyone that when she gets
"there" she won't find her notches on the trees the
birds will have eaten all the crumbs She has this fear
that she won't find the way back

Guatemala

There
On the cobblestone streets
In front of 16th century churches
I saw
A self constructed memory
Of indigenous ancestors
Pulling apart
Their most sacred temples
To create new ones

There in the Mercado
With the women
Yelling “Buena Ropa”
Selling 2nd hand merchandise
To first time buyers
I saw
A stream of
Bleached blonde
News anchors
Siempre estan tratando a ser algo
Que nunca puede ser
As they usher in
The future
Smiling
and waving
At the faceless
soon to be deseparecidos


There on a deserted beach
With black sand
Pacific waves crashing
And palm trees swaying
I saw how easy these waves
Ushered in
The first visitors
From the Far East
Long before
A Spanish word was mumbled in this place

As I stepped into side street
Tiendita
And see a girl
No older then 9
Selling cositas for tourists
I saw how easy
Third world
Becomes New World
Ordered
Into maquilas

I can not
Turn off
The colonizer/d
In me
And it is more prevalent
In a Spanish speaking place
Funny how a chicana
From seattle
Who didn’t learn Spanish until 20
Can feel at peace among
A people
She has next to nothing in common with

The only thing we do share

Is a colonizer