4 days left

so here i begin to tell you how i fell in love again...against my own better judgement and normally rational way of thinking. let me begin by saying when i left my husband it was under the firm impression that i would be alone for ever...well, i'd have my kids but other then that no more romantic relationships and i was ok with it...when i left sammy i decided being alone was better then being in that relationship.

a few months ago (on june 2nd to be exact) i began to talk to an old friend, this guy i went to high school with in seattle. at that time i was talking to someone else (romantically) and he had a girlfriend he was living with. we started to talk....alot....not on the phone but text messaging...and as the first week passed my feelings begin to grow romantic and after a phone call from this "homeboy" at the close of the first week i realized his feelings had grown too. so i told him we couldn't talk anymore it felt wrong. that lasted a week...there was something about him that i couldn't quit...mostly his sense of humor...here i was really attracted to someone i hadn't seen in 4 or 5 years...crazy...and the craziest part to me was that there was no way we were going to sleep together...at least not any time within the next two months and at that point i wasn't even sure we were coing to Seattle. He and I really enjoyed each others friendship and that was the premis of the relationship...our friendship.

So, after a week i gave in, i tld myself i could make the feelings go away but i missed my friend. so we began to talk again and it was ok with the occasional flirting but for the most part just friends. Then after a month he decided we should speak as much and we pretty much stopped contact all together.

Then Sammy and I tried to get back together and at the same Homeboy was breaking up with his girlfriend. The blog about Sammy is a couple of posts down. In short I thought I could get past the lies but the more time that passed the more I realized it wasn't going to work for a lot of reasons. So once that was finalized Homeboy and I decided to hang out...