I'm in a mosh pit of emotion

I'm not sure what's going on or what this is. it's like i know i love him...but i'm not sure he's changed enough. some things have changed but not sure it's enough things. i'm really confused that i'm making the wrong choice. eeeehhhhhhh i don't know what to do. i think he's still mean and he's trying to manipulate me already and make all of this my fault. but i can' t tell. it's like i've been lied to my whole life and i can never decide what the truth is...probably why i came to law school...to find the truth....wish i could find it now.................